Today I was a guest on a bunch of romance blogs. We romance authors have been talking with readers about best and worst pick-up lines as part of the
Summer eReader Giveaway (four Kindles plus dozens of runner-up prizes). You can get in on the fun at the
Book Scoop Blog.
I stole my sister's worst then contrasted it with how my love story started with a Mountain Dew:
The Worst and The Best
At first I thought, what in the world am I going to write about? I've been married for what seems like forever, and I dated my husband exclusively for almost four years before that. So I decided to cheat. My sister is divorced and just experienced the worst pick-up attempt of her life. I'm going to share her nightmare then I'll tell you the simple thing my husband did to hook me then reel me in.
Sis, who isn't currently "on the hunt" has an old friend from high school who plays acoustic covers at different bars near where she lives. She likes to go see him with some of her girl and guy friends from high school to indulge in some no-pressure nostalgia. The singer--we'll call him Mike--knows their little tribe comes just to see and support him, so he visits with them between sets.
Approaching one of Mike's breaks on a Saturday, an older gentleman sidled up to my sister and started hitting on her. Whatever his come-ons were, they had zero impact on Sis who kept finding more creative and aggressive ways to say "no" while simultaneously flagging Mike down to come save her.
My sister is gorgeous and always has been. I've spent my life watching men fall all over themselves to grovel at her feet, leaving me to wonder,
What am I? Chopped liver? The point being that I can imagine exactly how this man did whatever he could to garner her attention. He worked hard at it. Before Mike could finish his song and come to Sis's rescue, the man knocked his drink over. On my sister. On purpose. He then proceeded to wipe it off her exposed legs as she fought off his octopus-like moves.
Then he said, "I'm as bad as my grandchildren."
Sis isn't looking for someone at all right now and has only dated guys her own age. Nothing against AARP members, but she isn't interested in pursuing them or anyone else. Regardless, she's just not into more experienced men, let alone seeking them out on Match.com. I can only imagine her trying to clean herself up while simultaneously fending him off--while holding down her mini-skirt and sitting on a barstool at a hightop table. Imagine anyone trying to do that without falling off the seat.
Talk about what
not to do.
Which begs the question,
What in the world did my husband do to land a wild child like me?
He didn't say a word. Mr. H. is a major introvert and barely spoke with anyone in our group of friends. He came to visit his brother in our college town right after I left for a two-month internship, so he had bonded with our group while I was away. One of us graduated shortly after I returned, and our small circle of friends met up in a fast food parking lot before heading to the ceremony.
I said, "I'm thirsty."
He passed me his
Mountain Dew.
We spent the rest of the day together, talking all through her party and into the night.
In the morning, he kissed me when the sun came up.
Sigh.
Every time I share that story I fall in love with him all over again. We're living the dream: happily ever after.
My debut erotic novella Rock His World is available August 10th. www.KristiHancock.com for pre-order links.
